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Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

Saying Yes to More

Saying Yes to More
I awoke last night before my usual witching hour of 3am. I had crashed early, happily exhausted, and found the midnight chime to be my time. I lit my candles, said my prayers, and swiftly disappeared into a wordless dream that enveloped my mind— empty and yet saturated like the invisible aroma of flowers in the air. Though beautiful and sweet, it left me restless and wanting— my body hot with the energy...
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The Trauma Self’s Strive to Thrive

The Trauma Self’s Strive to Thrive
“I am here!”
 This has been my mantra for the last couple weeks. It is one that I have used with myself and clients in the past yet with less of a declaration and more of a loving presence. I would place my hand on my heart or wherever my emotional pain had landed and coo, “I am here. I got you.” My clients would report how effective this simple act of self-love...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 4: The Fight

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 4: The Fight
The fight response presents in the mind. The energy is guarded, controlled, and sharp with pride. The trauma self stands her ground. No longer frozen or running from fear, she raises her sword at the ready to take on the battle. She seems triumphant—a warrior to be lauded—but the only one sliced by her blade now is herself. For the real battle is done—the enemy slain, arraigned or waned—and yet she keeps fighting,...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 3: The Flight

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 3: The Flight
The flight response presents in the emotional aspect: the energy is flowing but erratic. The frozen self may have thawed enough to move but only laterally— flitting back and forth between emotional coping mechanisms. One might think that this flight is purely based in fear but remember, we are talking about the trauma self’s resistance to being embraced by You, the guardian, and in this case, to being felt. She isn’t just fleeing...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 1

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 1
My last few posts addressed the rebellion against our trauma self and this “walking in two worlds” medicine. Next up: resistance manifest and how our trauma self freezes, flees, or fights the “essential embrace”. 

As a healer, I understood the manifestation of one’s resistance to be based on density. The longer and stronger it was held, the more physical it would become—moving from a spiritual disconnect to a mental one, then emotional, and...
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Opening the Door to our Trauma Self

Opening the Door to our Trauma Self
What opens the door within oneself? ...to peer beyond the veils of protection that we placed in front of our trauma? …to pierce the heavy silence, the frozen fear, its secrets, its shame? ...and to do this walk that I and so many of us are on, or wish to be on— this walking in both worlds with our trauma self finally risen from shadow and with our guardian self at the ready...
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