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Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

Saying Yes to More

I awoke last night before my usual witching hour of 3am. I had crashed early, happily exhausted, and found the midnight chime to be my time. I lit my candles, said my prayers, and swiftly disappeared into a wordless dream that enveloped my mind— empty and yet saturated like the invisible aroma of flowers in the air.

Though beautiful and sweet, it left me restless and wanting— my body hot with the energy of purification and my mind turning over a singular mantra that repeated in a driven rhythmic beat:

More
Always
Deeper
Becoming
Stepping
Into
More.

This mantra eventually landed with a final beat that landed me— back in my body but breathless as if I had been disembodied for the last hour. As I gulped down some air, I felt the energy soften and my mantra give way to that familiar, gentle coo of the Divine Mother. “Breathe it in, sweetheart. Let the more take you. Be the more taking more Until there is nothing more to want.”

This story continues quite sweetly with a barefoot excursion under the full moon— a trickster moon who vanished right before my beseeching eyes as I said yes to the “more”. Ha! Despite the moon’s joke on me, her disappearing act revealed everything I needed to see, as if the veil she slipped behind was stolen from my eyes.

I will share the personal side of it at some point. I always do. But until it settles inside of me, I want to at least deliver this piece to you all— this invitation into “the more” and my invitation to you… 

Say yes to the more and you will discover what stands between you and the taking of it— being taken by it and being the taker, shamelessly. Sure, we can talk ourselves down the many roads of why we don’t allow ourselves to receive. But talking ain’t walking, now is it?

And asking for the more isn’t the walk either. We must say yes to it and actively take it in as deeply as we can. Whatever your “more” is, you will feel where it hangs up inside of you, like a deep yogic breath that finds the tension we need to resolve in order to go deeper. That’s what your YES is— it is the inhale of the “more”. Don’t focus on the exhale, it will come organically. It always does. And the deeper the inhale, the deeper the exhale.

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