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don Miguel Ruiz



Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

Male Sexuality: Gelded, Gilded, Guilted, and Jilted

The masculine has not escaped the trappings of sexual shame. Though his “Virgin” may be less revered and his “Slut” less condemned, his manhood is nonetheless gelded, gilded, guilted, and jilted. In the reflection of the wounded feminine, the masculine is either castrated by guilt or abandoned as the motherless child. As a result, most men, especially the spiritual ones, walk through life with their masculine marginalized and their power diluted in deference or masked in matriculation to the matriarchy.

The story of Oedipus is looking more like a murder-suicide, and that is as great of a tragedy for women as it is for men. Feminine energy thrives in polarity to the masculine; she rises as he rises and vice versa. Breaking from the patriarchy does not require that we break our men, and liberating our sexuality doesn’t come by shackling his. No, we must release them to their wild—sexually, emotionally, and spiritually—if we are to truly rise.

For me, a heterosexual woman, there is nothing sexier than a self-possessed man. He commands rather than demands, and possesses without possessiveness. He is not threatened by my power nor is he in need of it. There is no seduction, only mutual surrender. He dances WITH me, leading by my follow and following my flow. And my woman becomes more in his gaze—more embodied and free, more empowered and surrendered, more wild and divine.

Though I have been deeply wounded by men, my feminine has also blossomed in their grace. This is the gift that we can give ourselves as women if only we allow our men to be men, and this is the gift that you beautiful, spiritual men can give to the world and to healing our SHARED wounds of the patriarchy. Let us forgive the masculine, all of us, and give him permission to be the sexual creature that he is.

This is a message for all of us to hear— for women to better understand or at least embrace the mystery of masculine sexuality, and for men to receive that embrace. It is time and it is medicine for all of us.


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