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don Miguel Ruiz

 

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Musings of an Awakening Spirit

Stories, poetry & general musings of Rebecca Haywood, a modern-day Shaman with a penchant for bringing the divine into the human experience.

From a young age, Rebecca felt called by the mystery of life. She double majored in psychology and wildlife biology, suspecting like many, that the truth lay somewhere between our domestication and our nature.  After three years of studies and with the call for mystery growing still, Rebecca received an undeniable message to step away from her degree and to pursue a spiritual guide.  Terrified and thrilled, she quickly obliged.


This led her into a ten-year apprenticeship with a family of shamans, Mother Sarita  and her sons, Jaime Ruiz and don Miguel Ruiz.  She was welcomed into their home as part of their family and was soon asked to carry on Sarita’s lineage of healing. Under their loving tutelage, Rebecca further discovered her inherent ability to heal physical ailments, emotional imbalances, mental obstructions and spiritual stagnation.  Rebecca learned the ancient rituals of Mother Sarita while mastering the modern day teachings within don Miguel's books, lectures and his Toltec mystery school of 'Dreaming'.  Assisting them as a fellow healer and teacher, Rebecca came to develop her profound practice of intuitive healing.


Rebecca has been guiding individuals and groups through their personal and spiritual evolution for over fifteen years now. Serving clients worldwide, she offers spiritual mentoring, wellness coaching, healings, workshops and journeys.  Completing her studies as a Holisitic Health Practitioner in 2004, Rebecca also specializes in herbal medicine and nutrition.  Rebecca has lectured at several venues including The Ranch, Sierra Tucson, Teton Wellness Festival, Earth Dance, The Rape Crisis Center and The Center for Transpersonal Therapy, and is currently completing her first book.


Rebecca offers a non-denominational path that is tailored to speak intimately to one’s current process.  She believes that a guide must not hide their own humanity with a mask of the spiritual, but rather promote a marriage of the human with the spirit through an authentic relationship with her clients.  For it is Rebecca’s greatest wish that each of her clients may experience a genuine, attainable transformation that is wholly-nourishing and self-sustainable.


Read more about Rebecca's journey.

Summer Solstice Invitation

Summer Solstice Invitation
Happy Summer Solstice everyone! This image reminds me of a cherished painting of my abuelita, Madre Sarita. It depicted the Eye of Providence with the all-seeing eye radiating within a pyramid. (Do you see the eye here?!) I loved that painting and spent hours meditating upon it. For me, it represented the eye of the dreamer—mine and that of the divine infinite—and it opened my spiritual eyes to see beyond form and into...
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How We Remember Them Matters

How We Remember Them Matters
On this Memorial Day, as we honor those who have died serving our country, let us remember them well. For how we remember them, in a sense, is how they are resurrected within us and our life. “They live on in us.” We say these words, but we don’t quite give them the credence they deserve. They do live on in us. Through our memories, their living moments are given breath again. Their...
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Confession: A Poem

Confession: A Poem
Confession: I am divine and I am human. I am all of it. I am woman. I am little girl. I am sex. I am purity. I am none of it. I am infinite in finite envelopes with names and places assigned. But what is my address? Who do you address in this dress, these shoes that stumble that sparkle that carry me home somehow, again, awake and wanting him and Him, human...
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Shameless Beauty: A Poem

Shameless Beauty: A Poem
Bloom early Endlessly Tufted rainbow hues of you Shamelessly scented With life For life Attracting more life Eating more light Full Filling Unwieldy beauty Unyielding beauty For they dare not pluckThey dare not f*ck How can they? Take what is not theirs? Shake what is not loose? These petals command the windAnd rise the tides No time to stop This bloom made the sun  ————— Let’s stop hiding, shall we? Let’s stop trading...
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Hunting Medicine

Hunting Medicine
I am a huntress of medicine. I stalk out a need within myself or a client and then I ask Spirit to bring on the alchemy. At times, it is like a treasure hunt where one clue leads to another in an unfolding journey that requires patience and surrender. That’s how it has been this last month with the personal trauma work that I have been sharing with y’all. I had stalled out,...
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Earth Day Invitation

Earth Day Invitation
The Earth laughs in flowers. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Thank you Ralph. And thank you Mother. I have such gratitude for the beauty of this Earth and all that She inspires. She has always been my greatest teacher and friend— my secret church and the riverbed for my tears. She has been speaking to me and through me since I was a child, as I believe She does with every human, every living...
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Saying Yes to More

Saying Yes to More
I awoke last night before my usual witching hour of 3am. I had crashed early, happily exhausted, and found the midnight chime to be my time. I lit my candles, said my prayers, and swiftly disappeared into a wordless dream that enveloped my mind— empty and yet saturated like the invisible aroma of flowers in the air. Though beautiful and sweet, it left me restless and wanting— my body hot with the energy...
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My Secret Church

My Secret Church
In light of Notre Dame, I thought I would share this piece I wrote a while back about my “secret church” and its ‘demise’. Perhaps it will offer some comfort to those feeling the loss of their sacred site. Perhaps they will feel the loss, like I did, as an expansion and return to the essence from which it came... and to which called us there in the first place. All things fade...
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A Simple 5-Step Meditation

A Simple 5-Step Meditation
Meditation came alive for me when I let go of the obligation to silence my mind and instead chose to direct my mind into the meditation. Let’s face it; the mind’s habit is to talk. It has been talking to you, at you, about you, for however many years you have been speaking. So what makes you think it is suddenly going to hush up now that you have chosen to seek inner...
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Fencing in our Creativity

Fencing in our Creativity
Fence?I am the fence! And my lines Bend time And wildIt all away. Lately my walking meditations have been much like those of my childhood—listening without a question in my heart. It has been nice to return to this place of simply receiving the medicine of the moment, without the prayers that so often lead these walks. It draws me back to my training days with Sarita and our practice of channeling—just her...
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The Trauma Self’s Strive to Thrive

The Trauma Self’s Strive to Thrive
“I am here!”
 This has been my mantra for the last couple weeks. It is one that I have used with myself and clients in the past yet with less of a declaration and more of a loving presence. I would place my hand on my heart or wherever my emotional pain had landed and coo, “I am here. I got you.” My clients would report how effective this simple act of self-love...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 4: The Fight

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 4: The Fight
The fight response presents in the mind. The energy is guarded, controlled, and sharp with pride. The trauma self stands her ground. No longer frozen or running from fear, she raises her sword at the ready to take on the battle. She seems triumphant—a warrior to be lauded—but the only one sliced by her blade now is herself. For the real battle is done—the enemy slain, arraigned or waned—and yet she keeps fighting,...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 3: The Flight

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 3: The Flight
The flight response presents in the emotional aspect: the energy is flowing but erratic. The frozen self may have thawed enough to move but only laterally— flitting back and forth between emotional coping mechanisms. One might think that this flight is purely based in fear but remember, we are talking about the trauma self’s resistance to being embraced by You, the guardian, and in this case, to being felt. She isn’t just fleeing...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 2: The Freeze

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 2: The Freeze
Yesterday, I flipped the conversation about our resistance to healing and embracing our trauma self into an exploration of how the trauma self resists that embrace, even from You, the guardian. I introduced a new framework for identifying her resistance—the freeze, flee, or fight response. I shared that my trauma self has resisted my embrace in these three ways and cycled through them, just as she did when the trauma first occurred. I...
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Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 1

Resistance of the Trauma Self: Part 1
My last few posts addressed the rebellion against our trauma self and this “walking in two worlds” medicine. Next up: resistance manifest and how our trauma self freezes, flees, or fights the “essential embrace”. 

As a healer, I understood the manifestation of one’s resistance to be based on density. The longer and stronger it was held, the more physical it would become—moving from a spiritual disconnect to a mental one, then emotional, and...
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Opening the Door to our Trauma Self

Opening the Door to our Trauma Self
What opens the door within oneself? ...to peer beyond the veils of protection that we placed in front of our trauma? …to pierce the heavy silence, the frozen fear, its secrets, its shame? ...and to do this walk that I and so many of us are on, or wish to be on— this walking in both worlds with our trauma self finally risen from shadow and with our guardian self at the ready...
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Welcoming our "Triggers"

Welcoming our "Triggers"
I received so many response to my last post—about healing trauma and walking in two worlds: as the self needing to be healed, and as the one offering that healing—that I want to deepen the conversation, to invite you deeper into your process by sharing more of my own. So that’s what’s up this week and until Spirit (which includes you!) invites another topic to the table. First up is this word used...
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Patchwork Quilt: Part 4: Reweaving the Trauma Self

Patchwork Quilt: Part 4: Reweaving the Trauma Self
In my recent posts, I have been discussing a vision I received: a patchwork quilt which represented my life and all the selves within it, connected by a single golden thread—the one Self that flows through them all. It has delivered a big medicine for me and the healing of a hidden sexual trauma recently uncovered. This has been the toughest piece of trauma work I have ever had to do because it...
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Patchwork Quilt: Part 3: Meditation

Patchwork Quilt: Part 3: Meditation
Imagine...your life as a patchwork quilt...spread out before you... spread out within you... every moment of your life... and each version of You within them... child unborn and child emerged... teenager uncertain and rebelled... adult assured and then felled... victim, survivor, lover of love... guardian, elder, and spirit returned... all together... here, now... connected as one continuous being... one heart... one soul... one You... to love, to honor, to be. Imagine them all...
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Patchwork Quilt: Part 2: The Common Thread of the Self

Patchwork Quilt: Part 2: The Common Thread of the Self
I used to think of the Self as a layered being— layers of stories, beliefs, emotions. That is the language I was given to describe it and to process it— to peel away the layers. Through my personal journey of healing trauma, I discovered the emotional “peeling“ to be more of an unwinding from the body. Each emotion was like a thread, spun by stories and bound with beliefs and, if I followed...
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